2014年12月31日

明けましておめでとう ・ Happy New Year 2k15 !



So in a few hours, we'll be entering a new year. New Years eve is usually extremely uneventful for me, since working on both NYE and January 1st makes partying and going to bed at breakfast hour a choice that you can easily regret. So I've been planning since a couple of weeks to try and make this blog a thing I want to keep up in my best abilities in 2015, starting right now. So what best to do this than start with a year review, and resolutions/making plans for the months ahead. Here we go ! 


2014 hasn't been the best year for me. It was actually quite hard, and quite a few challenges came in my way. Let's see an overall of the major things that happened this year. 

  • Started seeing a therapist for my anxiety and depression, got on medication. 
  • Went to Japan for 4 days in march. 
  • Changed my name (!) 
  • Turned 25
  • Moved in may 
  • Got a pet (Bijou <3)
  • Sent admission request at university to finish my major
Those aren't all that bad and some actually nice. In christmas holidays 2013 I started medication and official therapy after seeking help for my depression, thanks to a bit of push and help of my friends. It went not too bad, and helped in some ways. After a year of therapy and medication, I am unsure of how much it did help and how much work I still have to do by myself now that my therapy is almost over, but 2015 will tell. 
What helped, was escaping for 4 days in a total crazy jump of excitement to go see Moi dix mois in Tokyo in march. I never regretted going for only 4 days. 

In may, I moved to a new place, that isn't much bigger, but well situated, in a nice neighborhood, where the place is clean and comfortable, way more than the apartment I lived in before. That was a big weight lifted off my shoulder, and also a lot of stress left at a place where it was better be left at. I can now sleep in the silence and comfort of my new apartment, with my new roommate, Bijou, my now 7~8 month little budgie, which I got in august. All days haven't been easy as the new family we are but we're getting there ! I love this bird a lot and I can't wait to see her grow ! 

I also decided, after seriously thinking about it for months, and considering it for many years before that, to change my first name. I have never particularily liked my birthname or identified with it much, as I don't think it represented what I shaped myself to be and the person I created through the years and am still working on today. It was also to detach myself a little from what my family thinks I am, who they think I became, and who they want(ed) me to be. So even though it isn't an official legal change as of now, my name is now Dahlia, and the change makes me really happy. It really feels like myself, no matter who that is or who I become. If possible, in a couple of years I might try to go through the legal process of asking for the change, and I hope it will be possible for me. I wish for the best. 

And lastly, with support of my therapist and lengthy considerations, I applied to go back to university to finish the classes I started in 2009 to finish my major in East Asian studies. I am not certain yet if I will go further in my studies once I am done with these classes, but for now what matters is finishing what I started.

And now I find myself a few hours following the new year countdown and I look back to it, satisfied that it's ending the way that it is, but hoping that the new year will bring me more and be better for me.

2015

So, what are my hopes and goals for the new year. Let's make a short list as well. 

  • Finding a new job (so important) 
  • Focusing on taking care of myself as best as I can (routinely hygiene, extra care, eating better)
  • Study well. 
  • Loose weight. 
  • Pay back my credit card debt (or a lot of it)
  • Trust myself. 
As of now these are my goals. Most aren't too precise, but I think that's where people go wrong. Having goals set in rock can only make yourself disapointed in results if they aren't as expected.

I won't develop too much about my goals for now, but will try to follow up as the months go by. 

I hope everyone had/has a fun New Years Eve, and I wish the best to all of you for the upcoming year. Be nice to yourself. 

PS : I currently have problems with my actual laptop, so since I am on an emergency old laptop right now until I can fix the problem, I might not post recent pictures as it is hard to upload from my camera onto this slow laptop so you will have to excuse my lack of photographic updates for now. Sorry ! 





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