2015年1月17日

School and future plans

The "new year" feeling has started to settle down now, and it's time to just go on and see what's coming up !

About my computer story, I sadly had to harass the people at the company to know what was going on with my order, as I have not received news from my purshase.... That I will eventually very soon need for school work. Thankfully the kind customer service assured me my order is being worked on, so I should receive it soon... I hope. I need my pictures, my webcam, my fast computer ! Slave to technology here, stuck with a 2007 laptop for god knows how many days.....

Following my blonde hair picture, after pondering if I should continue frying my hair with chemicals for the sake of the sexy blonde bomb with red lipstick, I went back to my origins with my favorite look... Black !

 

Good news is the red lipstick trick will still work ! It just feels more natural for me to have dark hair, and I just like how I can easily wear any color of eyeshadow. (Not that blondes can't do that ! It's just not for my blonde self to wear colorful eyeshadow... Too much color just feels overwhelming on me) So I'll probably keep the black for a while now, as it will stay prettier longer, and make my hair less of a messy hay stack. 

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Today I'm trying to clean. Getting motivated is my biggest issue these days, as it seems during the holidays it's been rough, and everything just piled up, made me tired and depressed, so everything pretty much stayed in the horrible mess that it got into before christmas (yes, it's been that long). I seems the clutter keeps me from doing much. My mind is cluttered as well, so feeling overwhelmed with cleaning sure doesn't help. I could organize my closet and desk quite well last week, so now I have to attack the actual cleaning. I also have to do my homework because yes, 

this week, I started school ! 

I started a B.A. in East Asian Studies and History (double major kind of thing I think ?) in 2009, but I was already unsure of finishing the program when a student strike happened and pushed me to abandon all classes in 2012. After that, since I was also experimenting feelings of depression after coming back to Canada after spending one year in Japan, I didn't go back to school when it started again. I put my studies in hiatus until I didn't know when... And it's now ! I have however changed my program for a major, and having credits already counting in my two first years of studies, I have two classes to go through to get a diploma. So this semester I'm taking one class, as a part-time student in the evening (As I still have to work full time). 



I am very unsure of what I will do next. I wanted to start slowly, as I am unsure of how I will be able to deal with school again, and that going back full time is definitely not possible right now and I would have to seriously search for resolving problems keeping me from going back full time. For now my goal is to focus on doing these two classes (possibly the second one this summer, or next fall semester), and then proceed to see what I want to do. I have some options, but I am considering going to see a school conselor to see and understand my options better and judge from there. 

I am also thinking very seriously and intensely about going back to Japan these days. Since I'm going back to school for this purpose (kind of), I really think about what I should do next to facilitate my entry in Japan and go towards my dream of going there for an extended period of time. I need to think about it carefully.... And also find a new job in the meantime, to be able to save money to be able to leave. Right now my job will not allow me to save any money (not enough to ever leave next year, anyways). I hope it goes well. 

I will keep working on my school work and job search, and hopefully I can talk to you from my new updated laptop soon ! 


3 件のコメント:

  1. Hang in there! I know you can do it!
    I was wondering, what kind of person are you? are you in the shy spectrum, outspoken... do you tend to be very careful about what you say or can you do it naturally? I always wonder about this with people who lived in Japan and would like to go back because I'm loud and annoying i guess and i also tend to use my freedom of speech a lot and my husband would like to eventually move to Japan and the idea kinda scares me. So asking people who lived there alone and still want to go back, makes sense.

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    1. How interesting of a question !
      I am more of the shy person, and quiet as well. I'm the kind of person who will be afraid to be looked at like the "stupid gaijin" in Japan, and follow rules and try to mimic the behavior of Japanese people as much as possible. I'm the one who stares people down if they are being loud on the train ahahah ......
      But I think, it depends what kind of loud person you are. I mean, there are places where talking, being a little louder are OK, but since Japanese people tend to look at "loud" people in a "you are disturbing" way, you would have to either accept it and deal with it, or change the behavior in certain times. As for "freedom of speech" I'm not sure what you mean, but to be honest, even though some "loud" gaijin are often just looked at (literally), us "white people" often get away with things like that with no consequence because we will always be seen as the "innocent gaijin who doesn't know". I hope that helps !

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    2. Yes I know that but I feel extra pressure because if i mess up then i'm more than just making myself look bad, there's the whole familly to consider.
      Thank you for taking the time to answer, its always nice to hear other's perspectives. I have gone to japan a few times but i only stay for around 2 months and i have never worked there and i never go on the subway etc alone so i'm really scared of having to move someday.

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