Divinecross

Every year when spring comes I swear to myself I will not forget and I always find myself seeing Mana's post on his blog on the 20th of june in the evening and think ... Hell, I had forgot. It's been a long time isn't it. For me, not as long as for the people who knew him or acquainted him while being a fan of Malice Mizer in the 90's, but now over 12 years that june 21st has been a day to send thoughts to the sky. Today it's beautiful too. Blue and bright.
毎年の春が来る時にいつも「今回い全然忘れないように」と自分に言われるけど、６月２０日の夜の時に、Ｍａｎａ様がブロッグをアップする時に見ちゃって。。。「忘れたじゃん。」と思ってしまします。長い時間前にだったじゃないですか。私により、よくＫａｍｉさんが知ってる人にとってもっと長くて、難しく時になるかなね。今日もね、空が美しくて、薄い青色で、太陽が輝いているんです。

17 years ago, June 21st 1999, Kami san passed away.

１７年前に、６月２１日にＫａｍｉさんが天国へ行っちゃいました。ƸӜƷ.

I was off work today, and I started my day normally, with a Malice Mizer music background for this special day. And then I thought, I believe I have never really did a special something on this day to celebrate Kami san.

今日、仕事から休みだったから、ゆっくり起きて、ＭａｌｉｃｅＭｉｚｅｒの音楽とともに日を始まりました。では、「前に全然この日にＫａｍｉさんのために大切なことしなかったから、今日それをしよう。」と思ったんです。

So I went in my pictures folder, and on old blogs people had, videos dating from decades ago and decided I would give my first try at a Kami san inspired look and take pictures in his memory. Kami san was such a beautiful person, so of course I can never do him justice, but it is just to share some time remembering him together. And because today he's an angel with us, I went for a ~Le Ciel~ and Shinwa kind of look.

だから、写真とかヴィデオみたり、化粧集めて、ＫａｍｉさんのＬｅＣｉｅｌのスタイルをしたかったんで、天使のような感じになりそうと思いました。Ｋａｍｉさん本当にハンサムと綺麗な人だと思いますから、私が全然こんなイメージが出せないだけど、やっていました。

Malice Mizer has changed my life, and were my first acquaintance both visually and sound wise I had of japanese and Japan, and I will forever be grateful of their work and presence in my life.

So... Let's go and share some moments remembering Mr Pink Pirate Angel today. ❤ ❤ ❤

Ｋａｍｉさん。永遠に忘れません

マリス・ミゼルの音楽が生きているから

Ｋａｍｉさんの心が私たちとともにいらっしゃいます。

ありがとうございます

~ Dahlia ❤

On this day of the 19th of March, I officially declare this day to be the

今日、３月１９日になったと、私は

Official International EGL/EGA day and celebration.

オッフィシャル全国EGLとEGAの日

にしたいだと思っております！

Today is Moi dix mois' creator and leader Mana Sama's birthday ! He's turning X? years old today ~

今日はMana様の誕生日でございます！XX 歳になりそうです。（笑）

(Picture from Moi dix mois's Twitter)

I started the day early, put on ~Reprise~, and got out all my prepared items to bake a special cake ! I haven't baked any dessert in some years now.... I won't be able to send it to Mana, but at least I can show pictures ! (Sorry Mana Sama, I will have to share the cake with my friends...)

It took me a total of about 3.5 hours to finish it completely, woah !

First, I had to prepare a blue chocolate ganache to put in the middle of the cake :)

最初から完成まで、３時間半ぐらいかかりました！ちょっと大変でしたね

まずは、ケーキの中で入れる青チョコレートガナッシュをつくりました。

Blue ganache !　青いガナッシュです！

The goal was a "Moi-même-moitié color" cake.

So I made a chocolate cake with white frosting, blue ganache and decorations ! (black, white, blue)
Moi meme moitieの色のケーキ作りましたから、チョコケーキで、青いデコレーションと白いトッピングしましたのです！（黒、青、白）

Preparation items, and the secret middle layer of blue ganache !

デコレーションの物と秘密の青ガナッシュ！

Then, I had to decorate the cake ! I had something better in mind, but I ended up not having enough frosting, and a lot of trouble with the piping bag ... So I had to change my mind a little !

I think it turned out nice ! It's white buttercream frosting, with sugar roses, silver edible beads and ....
!!! A real standing blue chocolate Iron gate !!!

実はね、違うデザインしたかったので、フロスチングが足りなくて、ちょっとムズイなことがおこっていて、このデザインにしました。
良い感じがしていると思います！バッタクリームのトッピングで、砂糖の薔薇とシルバーのデコレーションにして。。。

立てる青チョコアイアンゲートできました！

Mana Sama, Happy Birthday !

Mana様、お誕生日おめでとうございます！

Iron Gate ! ^w^

(It broke after a few minutes and lost a part ;_; )

Let's eat !

いただきます！

I spent the day at home cooking this cake, listening to Moi dix mois (and Malice Mizer too) and I dressed up as well ! I decided that I would myself, officially declare this day to be and forever be International EGL/EGA/Gothic Lolita day. I have found that gothic lolita style has had such a decline in popularity these last years, and it's with a lot of sadness we saw many stores closes, brands dissapear, even though we all know that a large percentage of us started at the bottom with the classic gothic lolita look, in the earlier 2000s. So spend this day to take out your pretty black dresses and revive the gothic lolita spirit !

今日家にMoi dix moisとMalice Mizerの音楽聞いてすごしました。今年から３月の１９日に国際EGLとEGAの日にしたいと決めましたんです。何年前からだんだんゴスロリとEGLスタイルが消えてきまして、ちょっと寂しいですね。すごく沢山の人が２０００年代にゴシックロリータからはじまりまして、今あまりゴスロリが見えないですね。懐かしいです。だから、３月１９日に皆一緒にEGLスタイルを着て遊びに行きましょう！

On my part, it has been just under 12 years now that I have found out about the existence of Malice Mizer (RIP) and Mana's work. Spring 2004 to be exact ! (Sounds like centuries ago) I remember thinking Mana was such an amazing talented beautiful and inspiring female artist....... HAHAHA. Took me just about two weeks to found out I had been fooled by make-up artistry !

１２年前にMana様のことについて見つけましたんで、感謝しています。２００４年にいましたです！初めての時にMana様が女の人だと思いましたですけど。。。まー,ごめんね！Mana様（笑）

I want to take time to say thank you, Mana Sama.

In 2004, Mana's work and character gave me strenght to be myself, and to work hard on the things I love and believe in myself. I found out a large community of other girls like me too, other gothic lolitas, that gathered together and could talk about a lot of things, and share our passion, through reading about Mana's work also.

(in 2008!)

I entered fashion school in 2006, because I wanted to design beautiful clothes I would feel like myself in, as Moi-même-moitie inspired me a lot. I'm still not working for Moi-même-moitie, but... ! (haha) Mana inspired me so much during these times and what he does really kept me on track and let me know that I could achieve something. I never ever thought I could learn japanese and go to Japan one day, ever.

(Early 2010)

I started learning japanese in 2007 by myself, and then got a teacher. I wanted to finally understand what Mana's music meant, more deeply (I only could listen to the music, being unable to understand any japanese at all) and know why I'd cry listening to it (haha). And then, I told myself, i can DO IT ! And I graduated, went to university and went into a program to be able to go to Japan. And in 2010.... !!!

I flew to Japan ! On october 31st, I finally met Mana. I almost passed out in the hallway before hand, and melted my make-up away with tears when I got out as I cried like a baby, but it was the most extreme form of accomplishment and dream I lived at the time. I never thought I could even go to Japan, and I got there, and I even got to meet Mana Sama ! I realised on that day too, how I think Mana is a generous and kind person. I was in the fanclub before, and it was difficult, because the end was near when I joined. I got my Mon+Amour necklace, and soon after, the fanclub closed. I was affraid for Mana's work ! But it didn't stop him at all and I'm glad. When meeting him I got a special little necklace, that I still own and wear on important occasions (exams in school, etc... hehe)

Gothic Lolita has made me like and accept myself. I found I felt beautiful. It made me find new friends, meet so many nice people, and have so many nice experiences. Mana's music is also always there with me. I would get a new album and sit down to listen to it, and even though I didn't understand any word at first I would cry from finding it beautiful. During my year in Japan, I got the chance to meet Mana once, go to meet the whole band on december 18th 2010 for a signing for D+Sect's release, go to their Christmas eve concert, and even though the march 2011 earthquake struck and delayed the live, and had me go back home for a month for safety, I came back to Japan and could assist to what I thought would be the last live of Moi dix mois I would ever see in my life.... In June 2011.

For the concert,
I decided to wear a ~jeune fille lazuli~ outfit. Blue, white, with touches of gold O_~

I remember Seth announced the next live would be on August 20th, and I was leaving Japan on August 8th. I swore to come back one day and see them again.

(!!!) Dressed up in 37°C weather to go see Mana's exhibition in Shibuya, 2011

In between that time I fought for my health and studies and it wasn't going very well, but I kept dreaming that I could achieve my dream and kept hoping for the best, and I decided to take all the money I had saved, and in 2013 I could fly to Japan for two weeks in march to be able to go to Mana's birthday concert. As usual, I went to the concert and spent half the show crying from the beautiful emotions (I'm so lame haha). Everytime, I would know and feel how much Mana has inspired me and how far I've came from and it would give me a boost so I could keep fighting. I needed to go to these lives to keep going.

Going to the concert in Shinjuku ! 3rd show !

I can tell you this time, I looked at my bank account and really knew I couldn't come back for years after this. I had to finish school, and hopefully find a good job, but things were not going so well. I held onto all my precious memories and objects I collected from the lives, and the gifts Mana gave us, to keep being kind to myself and not give up.

Mana came on stage with roses at that specific show (march 2013). He threw roses at the audience and I blindly jumped and opened my hand as wide as I could to catch one... And I got two ! I gave my friend who was with me one, and I kept the other one. I dried it, had to find a special box with tissues to pack it and bring it back to Canada.... And I still keep it on my desk in it's glass container to this day. It's been 3 years ! It's not so much the item that is important to me (you can buy new roses..) but the idea behind it. If I would have talked to my younger self in 2003, I would have never thought I would even live to the year 2013. And not only did I fight and live, I realized a dream, or two even, and I'm still here, and I'm well now, too.

And in 2014, after ten years of me being a fan of Mana, I did the unthinkable thing, that everyone thought I was absolutely crazy for doing. I took my pennies and dollars and piled them up, bought a flight to Japan, and I had so little money left that I actually flew round-trip to Tokyo for 3 days to go to Mana's birthday show. Left Canada on a thursday, arrived in Narita on friday night (Japan time), woke up on the saturday to go to the show, went to the show, had sunday left to go shopping, and I was leaving on monday. I could not afford more holidays from work, or one more night at a hotel haha. Once again, after the show I walked back to the apartment I was staying at and cried so much. "There are so much beautiful things to hear, see and feel in the world" and I thought I could never feel this way.

At that point, I had been to 4 shows, of which 3 were Mana birthday concerts !
I still keep the blue glowsticks on my desk to this day.

I came back to Canada, and I decided it was time. It had been 10 years. I am a Gothic Lolita, and Mana Sama had inspired me so much, inspired me to work hard, to love myself how I am and to love life, so I went for it. And now it's with me forever....

So today I celebrate. I am so proud of everything Mana has done. I keep being impressed at everything he works so hard for and I am still inspired by his work. I really hope he keeps doing what he likes for a long time and I will do my best to keep supporting him for hopefully many years to come.

So for everything you have worked for and everything you have created,

Thank you, Mana Sama.

本当にありがとうございます、Mana様