March 19th - Happy Birthday !

On this day of the 19th of March, I officially declare this day to be the

今日、３月１９日になったと、私は

  Official International EGL/EGA day and celebration.

オッフィシャル全国EGLとEGAの日 

にしたいだと思っております！

Today is Moi dix mois' creator and leader Mana Sama's birthday ! He's turning X? years old today ~ 

今日はMana様の誕生日でございます！XX 歳になりそうです。（笑）

(Picture from Moi dix mois's Twitter)

I started the day early, put on ~Reprise~, and got out all my prepared items to bake a special cake ! I haven't baked any dessert in some years now.... I won't be able to send it to Mana, but at least I can show pictures ! (Sorry Mana Sama, I will have to share the cake with my friends...)

It took me a total of about 3.5 hours to finish it completely, woah ! 

First, I had to prepare a blue chocolate ganache to put in the middle of the cake :) 

最初から完成まで、３時間半ぐらいかかりました！ちょっと大変でしたね

まずは、ケーキの中で入れる青チョコレートガナッシュをつくりました。

Blue ganache !　青いガナッシュです！

The goal was a "Moi-même-moitié color" cake.

So I made a chocolate cake with white frosting, blue ganache and decorations ! (black, white, blue)
Moi meme moitieの色のケーキ作りましたから、チョコケーキで、青いデコレーションと白いトッピングしましたのです！（黒、青、白）

Preparation items, and the secret middle layer of blue ganache !

デコレーションの物と秘密の青ガナッシュ！

Then, I had to decorate the cake ! I had something better in mind, but I ended up not having enough frosting, and a lot of trouble with the piping bag ... So I had to change my mind a little ! 

I think it turned out nice ! It's white buttercream frosting, with sugar roses, silver edible beads and ....
!!! A real standing blue chocolate Iron gate !!!

実はね、違うデザインしたかったので、フロスチングが足りなくて、ちょっとムズイなことがおこっていて、このデザインにしました。
良い感じがしていると思います！バッタクリームのトッピングで、砂糖の薔薇とシルバーのデコレーションにして。。。

立てる青チョコアイアンゲートできました！

Mana Sama, Happy Birthday ! 

Mana様、お誕生日おめでとうございます！

Iron Gate ! ^w^ 

(It broke after a few minutes and lost a part ;_; )

Let's eat ! 

いただきます！

I spent the day at home cooking this cake, listening to Moi dix mois (and Malice Mizer too) and I dressed up as well ! I decided that I would myself, officially declare this day to be and forever be International EGL/EGA/Gothic Lolita day. I have found that gothic lolita style has had such a decline in popularity these last years, and it's with a lot of sadness we saw many stores closes, brands dissapear, even though we all know that a large percentage of us started at the bottom with the classic gothic lolita look, in the earlier 2000s. So spend this day to take out your pretty black dresses and revive the gothic lolita spirit ! 

今日家にMoi dix moisとMalice Mizerの音楽聞いてすごしました。今年から３月の１９日に国際EGLとEGAの日にしたいと決めましたんです。何年前からだんだんゴスロリとEGLスタイルが消えてきまして、ちょっと寂しいですね。すごく沢山の人が２０００年代にゴシックロリータからはじまりまして、今あまりゴスロリが見えないですね。懐かしいです。だから、３月１９日に皆一緒にEGLスタイルを着て遊びに行きましょう！

On my part, it has been just under 12 years now that I have found out about the existence of Malice Mizer (RIP) and Mana's work. Spring 2004 to be exact ! (Sounds like centuries ago) I remember thinking Mana was such an amazing talented beautiful and inspiring female artist....... HAHAHA. Took me just about two weeks to found out I had been fooled by make-up artistry ! 

１２年前にMana様のことについて見つけましたんで、感謝しています。２００４年にいましたです！初めての時にMana様が女の人だと思いましたですけど。。。まー,ごめんね！Mana様（笑）

I want to take time to say thank you, Mana Sama. 

In 2004, Mana's work and character gave me strenght to be myself, and to work hard on the things I love and believe in myself. I found out a large community of other girls like me too, other gothic lolitas, that gathered together and could talk about a lot of things, and share our passion, through reading about Mana's work also. 

(in 2008!)

I entered fashion school in 2006, because I wanted to design beautiful clothes I would feel like myself in, as Moi-même-moitie inspired me a lot. I'm still not working for Moi-même-moitie, but... ! (haha) Mana inspired me so much during these times and what he does really kept me on track and let me know that I could achieve something. I never ever thought I could learn japanese and go to Japan one day, ever. 

(Early 2010)

I started learning japanese in 2007 by myself, and then got a teacher. I wanted to finally understand what Mana's music meant, more deeply (I only could listen to the music, being unable to understand any japanese at all) and know why I'd cry listening to it (haha). And then, I told myself, i can DO IT ! And I graduated, went to university and went into a program to be able to go to Japan. And in 2010.... !!! 

I flew to Japan ! On october 31st, I finally met Mana. I almost passed out in the hallway before hand, and melted my make-up away with tears when I got out as I cried like a baby, but it was the most extreme form of accomplishment and dream I lived at the time. I never thought I could even go to Japan, and I got there, and I even got to meet Mana Sama ! I realised on that day too, how I think Mana is a generous and kind person. I was in the fanclub before, and it was difficult, because the end was near when I joined. I got my Mon+Amour necklace, and soon after, the fanclub closed. I was affraid for Mana's work ! But it didn't stop him at all and I'm glad. When meeting him I got a special little necklace, that I still own and wear on important occasions (exams in school, etc... hehe) 

Gothic Lolita has made me like and accept myself. I found I felt beautiful. It made me find new friends, meet so many nice people, and have so many nice experiences. Mana's music is also always there with me. I would get a new album and sit down to listen to it, and even though I didn't understand any word at first I would cry from finding it beautiful. During my year in Japan, I got the chance to meet Mana once, go to meet the whole band on december 18th 2010 for a signing for D+Sect's release, go to their Christmas eve concert, and even though the march 2011 earthquake struck and delayed the live, and had me go back home for a month for safety, I came back to Japan and could assist to what I thought would be the last live of Moi dix mois I would ever see in my life.... In June 2011. 

For the concert,
I decided to wear a ~jeune fille lazuli~ outfit. Blue, white, with touches of gold O_~ 

I remember Seth announced the next live would be on August 20th, and I was leaving Japan on August 8th. I swore to come back one day and see them again. 

(!!!) Dressed up in 37°C weather to go see Mana's exhibition in Shibuya, 2011

In between that time I fought for my health and studies and it wasn't going very well, but I kept dreaming that I could achieve my dream and kept hoping for the best, and I decided to take all the money I had saved, and in 2013 I could fly to Japan for two weeks in march to be able to go to Mana's birthday concert. As usual, I went to the concert and spent half the show crying from the beautiful emotions (I'm so lame haha). Everytime, I would know and feel how much Mana has inspired me and how far I've came from and it would give me a boost so I could keep fighting. I needed to go to these lives to keep going. 

Going to the concert in Shinjuku ! 3rd show !

I can tell you this time, I looked at my bank account and really knew I couldn't come back for years after this. I had to finish school, and hopefully find a good job, but things were not going so well. I held onto all my precious memories and objects I collected from the lives, and the gifts Mana gave us, to keep being kind to myself and not give up. 

Mana came on stage with roses at that specific show (march 2013). He threw roses at the audience and I blindly jumped and opened my hand as wide as I could to catch one... And I got two ! I gave my friend who was with me one, and I kept the other one. I dried it, had to find a special box with tissues to pack it and bring it back to Canada.... And I still keep it on my desk in it's glass container to this day. It's been 3 years ! It's not so much the item that is important to me (you can buy new roses..) but the idea behind it. If I would have talked to my younger self in 2003, I would have never thought I would even live to the year 2013. And not only did I fight and live, I realized a dream, or two even, and I'm still here, and I'm well now, too. 

And in 2014, after ten years of me being a fan of Mana, I did the unthinkable thing, that everyone thought I was absolutely crazy for doing. I took my pennies and dollars and piled them up, bought a flight to Japan, and I had so little money left that I actually flew round-trip to Tokyo for 3 days to go to Mana's birthday show. Left Canada on a thursday, arrived in Narita on friday night (Japan time), woke up on the saturday to go to the show, went to the show, had sunday left to go shopping, and I was leaving on monday. I could not afford more holidays from work, or one more night at a hotel haha. Once again, after the show I walked back to the apartment I was staying at and cried so much. "There are so much beautiful things to hear, see and feel in the world" and I thought I could never feel this way. 

At that point, I had been to 4 shows, of which  3 were Mana birthday concerts !
I still keep the blue glowsticks on my desk to this day. 

I came back to Canada, and I decided it was time. It had been 10 years. I am a Gothic Lolita, and Mana Sama had inspired me so much, inspired me to work hard, to love myself how I am and to love life, so I went for it. And now it's with me forever.... 

So today I celebrate. I am so proud of everything Mana has done. I keep being impressed at everything he works so hard for and I am still inspired by his work. I really hope he keeps doing what he likes for a long time and I will do my best to keep supporting him for hopefully many years to come. 

So for everything you have worked for and everything you have created, 

Thank you, Mana Sama. 

本当にありがとうございます、Mana様

Happy Birthday, Mana Sama 

40 hours trip - Dir en Grey @ The Opera House

I am just back from a round trip to Toronto that we took to go see my first Dir en Grey concert, on friday the 13th in Toronto, at The Opera House. After a busy week I woke up at 4 AM on friday morning to go take the intercity bus to Toronto. Departure at 6:30 am !

昨日、Dir En Greyをトロントで見に行った旅行から帰りました。金曜日に朝４時に起きて、バス乗りに出かけました。６時半の出発でございます！

Eating some yummy vegan cookies in the bus ! It's 7h am... haha

6 extremely long hours later, we arrived in Toronto under the clouds. We still had time to spend before our check-in at our hostel, so we took our time and went to eat something, as we all only had very early breakfast. There were 4 of us, me, my friend Josie (in the picture) and another friend and her boyfriend. 

すごく長い時間かかって、６時間後で、トロントで到着しました。天気がそんなに良くなかったので、雨降ってなかったから、嬉しかったね。もうチェックインの時ではなかったで、おなかすきましたから、食べに行ったんです。皆で一緒に四人、友達二人と友達の彼氏でした。

We wanted to stop at Chipotle, but there was a long line, so we decided to cross the street to Panera Bread. It had some warm and yummy food to feed us until the show. I got some nice filling sandwich and mac n'cheese ! It was very yummy. Just after lunch we went to meet our friend who was at the venue since the morning in the line, and we were glad to see she was barely 20 people behind the first people in line, after some VIP ticket holders and japanese girls who made it early. 

Chipotle食べたかったので、たくさん人がいましたから、他の所へ食べに行きました。コンサートの時までラインに立たなければならないので、良いランチ食べないとね。美味しかったわ！食べた後にコンサートホールに並んだ友達に会って、けっこうラインの前にいたから、よろこびました。

Then got the time to come check in at the hostel, so we took the tram back and went to put our bags in the room so we didn't have to carry the luggage around at the venue. We had a room for 6 so we could share the price and it was a nice place for the price ! We also had the next day breakfast included so it was definitely worth the small price for one night. We then went back to the line to wait for the show  !...... And waited from 3:30 pm to 7:00 in the cold windy night until we couldn't feel our feet. 

バスもう一回乗って、ホステルまでいって、チェックインしました。皆で６人のドーム部屋要約しったので、値段安くなってきて、朝ごはん無料になりましたから、よかった。部屋に荷物を起きましたとコンサートホールへ帰りまして、並んで。。。３時半から７時まで待ちました。風が強かったし、天気が寒かったからし、外で並んだ時に足がすごく寒くなって、あまり感じないぐらいになりましたね。

Now to the show ! (No japanese, too complicated !日本語で難しいだから、英語だけで書きます) It seems some VIP ticket holders were behind us in the line, so around 6 they got to get in first we were bumped a little behind in line, before realizing we were in fact at the very beginning of the general admission line after 3 people who got there in the very early morning. GREAT ! We had to wait one more hour in the freezing cold before we could get in and run to put our coats at the counter, and then run to the front. I got to the 2nd row in the front, and stood in front of where Toshiya would be (our left of the stage). 

The hour long wait was full of trying-to-keep-my-place because of the agressive fans trying to get in front of me or push me back, and also general tiredness of waiting (haha). Show started 20 minutes late after what seemed to be some trouble with the sound of Toshiya's bass. And then..... *_* 

(The show's playlist)

Sadly, I was only familiar with either the very old songs (Macabre, Yokan...) or new ones (from Dum Spiro Spero and Arche) so I missed a lot of the songs they played friday because I didn't know the lyrics nor the songs too much. Nonetheless I did enjoy a LOT the songs I knew and they did play absolutely flawlessly, with Kyo obviously being perfect as usual. I am not as emotionally attached to Dir en Grey as I am with Malice Mizer or Moi dix mois, so I thought I wouldn't get as excited but I ended up tearing up when 濤声-Tousei played. Kyo's voice just got to my guts for some reason. This man. 

(from Dir en Grey's official Instagram)

After that, I still could enjoy the quality of the show, but I sadly got extremely annoyed at the pushy, agressive fans, and the poor light operations and installation at the venue, as the way they were placed put the lights towards the fans instead of towards the band. I kept constantly being blinded by the lights twisting towards me, and we could barely see Shinya at all in the pitch black at the back. I still got to see Kyo, Kaoru and Toshiya quite up close because of my location, even if I was hidden behind arms, hair and heads banging and being pushed around a lot. 

By the end of the show, of course, fans got extremely pushy and violent and since Die and Kaoru started throwing picks at the crowd, things got really intense. Real animals I swear. I got really pushed hard and grabbed at, and then Toshiya threw his beer can at the crowd, which got thrown around because people fought to get it and I got splashed a lot. This crowd really wasn't a crowd I'd like to be in again. Of course I didn't get anything as I'm not that agressive so I hurried my way out the venue to get out of there as fast as possible. 

I was really angry and deceived of the crowd and venue (lights etc) and it really bummed me out and destroyed my experience, but I know the band was great and I did enjoy them as a band and amazing musicians and artists they are. 

It seems one of our friends got kicked out after an incident with another girl in the audience after only a few songs, so we didn't meet her outside. Since we were now free, we decided to go wait for the band members just beside the venue where their bus was. I was unsure of how that would go, since I never waited for band members after a show, and I am unsure of etiquette or if we can even approach them or whatever. 

Some japanese girls were there as well, so of course they called dibs on anyone who would come by, and that annoyed me a little. Don't you get enough at home, girl ? We get to see them every year or other year, let us see them ! 

I first saw Kyo and Kaoru come by and go in the bus without anyone really stepping in to see them close, and I must admit I tried to take a picture but it was so dark my picture was literally just black. I waited again, being still really cold, while staff packed up the ESPs in the trunk of the bus, and then some drum parts. Took a while to finally see Die and Toshiya come out. I really wanted to see Toshiya, but he was towards the bus and Die was towards the fans in line, so I just stepped in really fast and said a shy "~お疲れさまでした" before he grabbed my hand and shook it shortly. I stood there for a long second looking at them go in the bus, before I got in my head that I shook Die's hand hhaha OMG ! I snapped a picture but you can't see at all ahah. 

lmao you really can't see him at all but I know he's there !

By then it was very cold, and even though I wanted to ask the japanese girl who was in front of me inside the venue if I could see her pictures of Toshiya (she took very good ones with her smart phone, how good are these phones anyways ? wow) but I got too shy and we just went back to the hostel. 

I was hurting from everywhere being so cold and standing for so long, getting pushed around so I really didn't loose time to go to bed. Sadly I didn't sleep well until 3:30 am because I felt sick and my stomach was upset... 

☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾

We woke up me and Josie at around 8:30 (she was awake at around 6am, what a woman haha) and we decided to go down to have breakfast before the others would wake up, since we didn't want to make noise in the room by getting ready.  Even though we paid so little for the room, breakfast was included and they had a good few choices that looked yummy (even a vegan choice !) I got some granola and fruit. 

Ending the night at a live house, having breakfast... In a live house. Haha

Breakfast area was in the basement where they also do little shows in the evening at the hostel, so it's like we were still at the venue haha. Then we went back to the room to pack, and then everyone was up. The others decided they'd leave Toronto earlier, so we separated and they went to take the bus back, and me and Josie just decided to hang out in Toronto until 4h PM as planned. 

By 10~h AM we were outside, strolling to spend the day. 

A friend asked me to get her some stuff from MUJI無印食品 so we went there first as it was open from 10 am. I got myself some items as well ! Then just by there is this japanese cheesecake factory where there usually is a long lineup to get some ! But then there was no one there so I decided to finally stop and get a matcha and azuki japanese cheesecake at their new neighbor shop Uncle Tetsu's Matcha shop - Japanese cheesecake. 

MUJI items and my cute cheesecake ! 

After that my friend had some contacts in Toronto she had not seen for some years (!) so she arranged that we meet them for lunch. But before that we headed to Krispy Kreme Donuts to get some snacks for the bus ride home haha. 

We then went to meet up Josie's friends at Dundas Square, where we decided to go eat some All you can eat Korean BBQ. Good cheap and filling choice. 

After that, we had to leave and get to the bus, for another 6 hour ride ! I grabbed some snack at 7/11 (that convenience store is my god. Bless 7/11) and here we were sitting in the bus again at 4 PM, ready to go back home. 

Thankfully, the bus wasn't packed, so we could sit separately and get 2 seats for each of us, so we could lay our legs or sit more comfortably to try and sleep a bit. I could get some rest, but sleep... Maybe not. 

Came home at around 10h30 PM, exhausted, and crashed into bed for 12 hours straight. All in all, it was a good week-end. Still a little mad at the crowd and the venue, but so glad I got to see Dir en Grey live. I know now that if I go back to Japan and they happen to play, I'll definitely try and get there. And once again, thank you Ando-crest-smile 様 for the handshake. Really means a lot. 

Dahlia 

ILD - Sainte-Dolores Lolita Tea Party

Yesterday was my community's Lolita Day. Each year we celebrate for ILD and we organize activities such as going for tea, or renting a room for activities. This year, the organisators rented a room for tea at the Fairmount Reine Elizabeth hotel downtown Montreal so we could have our own place to be all together. We were a little over 40 people I believe, and it was nice, relax, and fun.

日曜日に私の市のロリータグループが集めていました。毎年International Lolita Dayを楽しんで、Tea Partyやどこか行く予定があるので、今年ReineElizabethホーテルへ皆でいきました。４０人ぐらいいましたわ！

I had my friend over in the morning, because since she isn't a lolita, she asked me to dress up her and make her all dolled up to join us ! I always like doing this it's very fun hehe So I woke up early so I could be ready by the time she would be here, and we got ready in record time !

ロリータが着ない友達を洋服上げて、髪の毛綺麗にしてあげてしました。１時に出かけるつもりに早くの時におきました。

It was a very beautiful and sunny day, and contrary to what the forecasts were saying, not too hot ! I was glad because everyone knows how much it's a pain to be so dressed up in a very hot weather and trying to stay cute all day. So this year, I went with a very new "style". I had seen the very cute straw hat by Moi-même-moitie a long time ago, and it was so beautiful, but totally not fitting my style at the time which was more gothic lolita with feathery headresses and more classic gothic looking coordinates, but I decided what better for summer than a little straw hat to make a cute spring summer coordinate ! So I went and made an outfit with the hat, flowers, short socks and sandals !

２月の時に小さいMoi meme moitieハット買って、ILDにこれを着たいとおもいました。だから、夏のようなゴシック感じなコジェネートから準備しました。可愛いに出来たとおもいますわ！

Straw Hat : Moi-même-moitié

Necklace : Moi-même-moitié

Parasol : Moi-même-moitié

Bag : Moi-même-moitié

Dress : Moi-même-moitié

Cutsew : Offbrand

Socks : Tutuanna

Sandals (not shown) : Offbrand 

I had bought a new Innocent World dress for cheap recently as well, and it did fit my friend's personality and style very well, so that's what I suggested she wore ! 

友達が私を買ったドレスを着て、全然可愛いに！イノセントワールドのJSKとAnna Sui 靴がとても似合うでしょう！

Look at that smile ! 

She was wearing one of my offbrand shirts, an Innocent World dress, a Moi-même-moitie Headdress and Anna Sui shoes along with a cute brooch that she got from a Canadian Lolita that handmade it ! She's also kind of new to having long hair as two years ago she had quite very short hair and decided to let them grow, so she doesn't often style it in more elaborate hairstyles so it was fun to try and do this little braid up-do on her ! I think it suited her a lot :) I also did a small make-up so it wouldn't hide her eyes in her glasses to much. She definitely blended with all the other lolitas ! 

And here is my outfit !

私のコージェネートです！

It was totally new for me to show so much skin as I am totally not comfortable with my body at all, but it was worth how comfortable, not too warm and not hurting I felt in the heat, walking all day and being in the sun. So it was worth it. I think I pulled out the cute country gothic quite well if I do say so myself ! 

そんなに肌を見られるが本当に好きではないので、暑い日だったから、よかったです。

We had a small game to play at first to know the newer lolitas of the community and get to talk to each other a bit before all sitting down at separate tables. But since I'm not the social bee, I just stayed calmly at my chair and tried to fill in the blanks of the questionnaire with my table-squad (haha). The tea was quite good, and the food alright. Since I had tea at the Mandarin Oriental Tokyo, I have trouble enjoying the dryness of the usual scones and plain sandwiches offered at usual tea salons here. And since I'm not a tea fan either.... 

I also could take time to take some pictures of the details of our community ! I had been inspired by the "Details of La Vie En Rose" posted on blogs earlier this year when the event in Europe occured. Here they are ! 

It was very strange as this year, me and very few of the lolitas I knew from years ago when the community started to grow, basically our "first generation" lolitas, were present, and most of the attendees were newer girls that came into the community one or two years ago. A lot of the community left because girls left the fashion, and the few left are separated by some conflicts of interests it seems, so some of them didn't come to the party this year. Well, they missed the fun ! 

We also had the organisators make a game of Cards Against Lolitas, so we played for the rest of the tea party and we had much fun with it. 

yes. that says "Twinning with Nicolas Cage"

After the tea, we left the group, me and my friends to go meet my friend's boyfriend at another station so we could go have dinner. I had never met my friend's boyfriend has he just arrived from Japan to come be with her in Canada, but he's nice ! He doesn't like lolita, but he dealt with us getting looks just fine ahaha... I promised him next time we would see each others I would look "like that". We had a little trouble deciding what to go eat, but since he wanted to go for burgers, we opted for an irish pub and boy did we have some good food !!! I opted for a curry poutine with grilled chicken, and dear lord was it delicious. The curry sauce was divine and just spicy enough ! It made the perfect match to the crispy fries... Ahaha 

Everyone's burger looked very good as well ! A very nice filling dinner after this long day of wearing small clothes and itchy wigs ahaha. After that we all went our separate ways and I came back home with my friend so she could drop my clothes and go home for the night. We are going to see each other soon anyways at her home warming party in two weeks ! 

She has moved to a new apartment, so we go and see how she decorated and made her little new nest comfortable for herself. I'm excited too see ! I know she has good taste. As for myself, I'm currently eyeing many products on the IKEA website and I might start to re decorate and furnish my place a little more during the summer. I'll be sure to show you the progress ! 

Dahlia